Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Alive.
So much puke
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
