Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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