lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There are leaves in my underwear?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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