K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the day after is always just damage control
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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