Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
