the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
