I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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