I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
