I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
