All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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