So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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