All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.