Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.