On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize