Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
