Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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