how can u be prego again
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
