dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
