Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sext me about skeletons
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
