awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
