Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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