Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
