Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize