Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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