I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
