its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
