Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
