Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
