So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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