We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize