Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
