Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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