you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I party with great urgency now.
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