My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
