Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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