Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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