dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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