Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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