covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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