At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
