I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize