I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
