If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize