I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
