You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize