In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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