I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
