I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
