Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
