i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
