the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
be right there i have to get my cape
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
